Hopefully this will help you to better realize who you're dealing with here.
I know (or assume) everyone faces entering college as they face the new year. With all sorts of ideas on how they're going to improve, to be their best self, so that they can have the killingest time ever, am I right? I am absolutely no exception, in fact I might be the poster child. Who knew.
Unfortunately, one of my favorite things to do is think about how I can improve. Not that I'm bashing self-improvement, don't get me wrong. But when everyday is "today I'm going to do it! I'm gonna do all the things I've been wanting to do!" and then I go to bed being like, "Aw cute, I accomplished nothing." Not the most winning spirit to take on on a daily basis.
Anyways, back to the story.
I looked at college like my big break. It was finally time. I could morph into the confident, BA, socialite I'd been imagining myself becoming for years. Shy around new people? Not this kid. Avoiding new situations? Never. I was going to be a lean mean socializing machine and I wasn't going to care who saw me do it.
And then I came to college.
Looking back, I sort of want to laugh at myself. For a whole five minutes. In the face, with lots of pointing and sneering involved, for believing this would happen. No dummy, people don't transform overnight. That is not how it works. Not even a little. And if you are someone who did exactly what I am saying is impossible please leave because you're already cooler than I am.
For so much of my life I've had these lists- lists upon lists of how I could change, improve, be better, more likeable or friendlier or funnier. And I'm not going to lie, I still want those things. Everyday I want those things. But what I want more is to be happy with me; the me I already am and was created specifically to be.
So this is not me saying I've mastered anything, but I just wanted to share that I have finally realized I need to stop trying to fix everything about myself and start appreciating who God made me to be. It's almost like I need to get to know myself, and it's kind of awesome and exciting.
Here are a few of my favorite quotes that have helped me. Enjoy.
